21

In 2 short years so much is going to happen. My future, my whole life will become crystal clear. But right now, I feel like a floating leaf in the breeze. Who knows where I'm going?

20

If you ever wonder what extremists look like, I introduce myself to you. I perfected my ability in certain stuff while remaining socially awkward and incapable of meeting new people. At least, I know I'm not mediocre.

19

Even suicide demands a certain amount of faith: faith in a perfect closure, or a new beginning, faith in the fact that there won't follow a much more difficult life in death. I lack this faith. I don't trust anything or anyone. I don't trust faith. I never will.

18

نشستیم و همه ی آپشن هامونو بررسی کردیم. از اپلای به دانشگاهای ایتالیا تا روشهای مختلف خودکشی. اما همش بی نتیجه بود. تنها راه جلو رومون یه زندگی سگی بود که به خوش خیالی و جوونیمون لبخند می زد.

Journal Entry 17

My idealism saved my ass after all! With my first rank, I'm gonna build a fuckin road out of this madhouse.

Journal Entry 16

Everything about him sparkles. I know it's creepy but I enjoy watching him sleep while the little stars dance around him. I'm not drunk.
But the world is too cruel to let us be this happy forever. Le temps detruit tout.

Journal Entry 15

My life's extraordinary. And by my life, I mean HIM (duh not the music band!). He leaves me speechless. He puts me first allll the time. And I dont know how to react. I'm shocked. He didn't let me wake up in my own vomit. He takes care of me all the time. He'll never leave me craving something knowing he can afford it. I'm lucky. But I'm cursed with modernism, with existential crisis. I doubt reality and life and good and evil. He's my only fetter to the earth.